Several years ago, one of my books published by one of the top five publishing houses in the world did so dismally I contemplated giving up writing. It had taken two precious years of my life to research and write it, and all my publisher could say was, ‘I’m sorry, your book fell through the cracks.’

I realised then that this ‘dream’, this goal so many people strain for – of getting a publisher and becoming an author (shrouded in romantic fantasies about what that means) was broken. It was fatally flawed, and I wanted to blow the whistle on it. But I wasn’t sure how to do that and at the same time encourage people to write their stories because I know that this is the part that isn’t flawed. It’s pure, and it has a kinetic magic that can heal this planet. I knew something had to change, and it was up to me to figure out how, especially because so many people look to me as some kind of oracle of wisdom in the Disneyland of authorship.

So I started doing business courses. I started thinking of writing as a business. I learned the basics of pitching, marketing, connecting with your audience, offering yourself in service to others, and I had a major breakthrough. I realised that ‘being an author’, much as it’s a great ego-inflator (as if we need more ego in the world), did not bring me a sense of deep abiding satisfaction about my ‘work in the world.’ On the odd occasion, a beautiful email from a reader would bring me to tears, but the isolation of the writing, the lack of financial security and the endless jealousy I felt towards other more successful authors who won prizes or were invited to writers festivals when I was overlooked (something authors never speak about), made me not like myself a fair bit of the time.

I found that the more I mentored others, and offered what I know in service to people who want to write their stories, the happier I became. In fact, taking people on writing retreats where it is all about them and not about me – makes me about as happy as I can be. So I started trusting that. That the era of my ego had passed (finally) and my work is about service to others (a comfortable place for someone with 9 out of 12 planets in Virgo).