Joanne Fedler’s Blog
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How to Avoid Valentine’s Day Disappointment
If you’re into Valentine’s Day, I hope it’s going well for you. I can’t say the day has ever been anything but a spectacular disappointment. And not because I haven’t been well loved by good people. See, when I was nine, my father painted this poster for me. What...
A Loveline to Celebrate the Thread That Has Woven You Here
Today is my first birthday without my mother. I don’t know quite what that means. She began me and now I am finished in all the ways I know myself as her child. She was always a quiet force of devotion, gravity and governance and in the months since she left, I...
The Joy of Midlife
Nearby is the country they call lifeYou will know it by its seriousness.— Rilke A certain age arrives where you believe yourself to be post-surprises. With enough been-there-done-that lodged in your bones, you may find yourself saying out loud, ‘Nothing could...
There’s an Octopus in the Room
‘We need beauty because it makes us ache to be worthy of it.’- Mary Oliver In a week’s time, I will get to live my dream. Over four days, I’ll sit in what is called in the industry, a ‘writers’ room’ with five smart, talented women and we will discuss how to turn my...
What Took Me so Long?
There is an unease in the household. It’s not only the terrible news of the murder of Hannah Baxter and Laianah, Aaliyah and Trey, her three children at the hands of their father. It’s about an epoch of violence against women. It takes place in the context of my own...
It’s Too Late to Leave
(Trigger warning for climate change denialists and anyone with a broken heart) ‘I didn’t know I loved the earth can someone who hasn't worked the earth love it … I didn't know I loved the sky cloudy or clear… I didn't know I loved trees… I didn't know I liked rain...
Ocean Pash
‘Your mother and I worry about how far out you swim.’ My father’s voice got serious. He tends to hold the phone so that instead of his face, I’m looking up at the ceiling, or at his nostril. He still hasn’t got this whole look at the phone screen while you’re...
May It Happen for You
Sometimes Sometimes things don't go, after all,from bad to worse. Some years, muscatelfaces down frost; green thrives; the crops don't fail,sometimes a man aims high, and all goes well. A people sometimes will step back from war;elect an honest man, decide they...
To My Sisters Who Are in Their Midlife
To my sisters who are in their midlife, I read a piece yesterday about how ‘invisible’ women over 50 become. It was one of those old cliched tirades against menopause and ageing and how she's going to wear her short skirt and go to clubs and get drunk and do what she...
How to Touch What Is Beautiful
‘I did not survive to be untouched.’ – Mark NepoToday, my friends, is my 52nd birthday. I know, right? I don't look a day over 50.The past year has been a mix of magic and mayhem. I count among the highs my discovery of ocean swimming and the return of my writing...
Bad Art Is Fabulous in So Many Ways
‘Our spiritualities will be found not in what we profess, but in where our energies are most invested most hours of most days.' James Hollis Bad art is fabulous in so many ways. Instead of letting poor writing or bad movies depress you, you can use them to inspire...
You Could Make This Place Beautiful
I wanted to share a story that always gives me strength and faith to keep working for a better world, even when it seems pointless and hopeless.